Tweens (age 10-12 years)
Today's precocious preteens often shock parents when they begin to act like teenagers. Don't be fooled, they’re still children. They’ll astonish
you with their ability to conceptualize, to argue brilliantly, and then
to do foolish things.
The Middle School years are a time of
magical blossoming, but like all huge transitions in our kids' lives,
they’re filled with ups and downs. As with parenting toddlers, parents
who don’t accept and constructively negotiate their child's blossoming
independence invite rebellion, or even worse, deception.
The
biggest danger for tweens is losing the connection to parents while
struggling to find their place and connect in their peer world. The
biggest danger for parents is trying to parent through power instead of
through relationship, thus eroding their bond and losing their
influence on their child as she moves into the teen years.
Preteens: Positive Parenting Your 10-12 Year Old
Your game plan for the tween years, when your son or daughter isn't quite a teen yet -- but is definitely on the way out of childhood.
Staying Close to Your Tween Daughter
The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you. The good news is that if you can accept this new situation and adjust your parenting accordingly.....
Building a Great Relationship with Your Tween
The only leverage we ever really have with our children is their love for us. It's never too late to build a great relationship with your child.
Staying Connected with Your Preteen
Much of the same advice applies that was true when he was a toddler: Reconnect every day, and don't wait when you see that your relationship needs some repair work.
Positive Discipline with Your Preteen/Tween
"Because I say so!" stops working with tweens. Your best strategy is a strong relationship, clear limits, and lots of empathy. Here's how.
Dinner: Your Insurance Policy
The more frequently tweens eat dinner with their families the better they do in school, the happier they say they are, and the less likely they are to get involved with drugs, alcohol, sex, or vandalism.
Helping Your Preteen Develop Good Judgment
Even if you could hover over your child and help him navigate every obstacle, it wouldn't be good for him. The tween years are the critical time for kids to develop their own judgment and learn to draw on their own internal resources.
Talking with Your Tween
How to stay connected with your tween when it's getting more challenging to even get her attention: Becoming a Brilliant Listener, Getting Your Kids to Talk with You, Family Conversations your Tween Will Love, and more.
