Parenting Blog

“The brain is like a computer. Your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming — what you say when you talk to yourself. -- Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D.

Every day we have thousands of thoughts. Experts tell us that for the average person, most of those thoughts are negative. If you've been noticing your inner critic, you can probably confirm this. Unfortunately, the subconscious mind is like a small child. It believes everything we tell it.

Last week, we talked about how to get your inner critic on your side.  Let's take that a step further.  Let's convert our inner critics into inner cheerleaders. 

Each of us deserves a cheerleader to help us over life’s many hurdles. Who says we can’t be our own? In fact, who better? Research shows that happy people talk to themselves differently than other people.  They give themselves ongoing reassurance, acknowledgment, praise and pep talks.

Why not encourage yourself instead of disabling yourself with negativity? Why not talk to yourself like someone you love?

This week, catch anything negative you say to yourself and reframe it:

"I blew it!" becomes "Humans aren't perfect. I am more than enough."

"I'm so stupid" becomes "Let's pay attention and try that again."

"I'm just not good at that" becomes "Practice makes perfect."

"If only I were a better mother" becomes "You don't have to be perfect. Just keep loving."

"I can't believe I yelled at my kid again" becomes "Now I can model heart-felt apologies and self-forgiveness."

"I can't get through to that child!" becomes "I can listen to her and connect, and then she listens to me more."

"Oh, no, not again!" becomes "I can handle this."

"I never have enough time"becomes "I make time and I take time for what's most important."

"This is impossible!" becomes "Every step in the right direction takes me to a new landscape."