Activate Your Hormones to Become a Better Mother -- and a Happier Person!
Why are some women better mothers than others? Turns out that some
women have more “love” hormones than others. 
Oxytocin is one of the
key maternal hormones, but it doesn’t just make women more maternal, it
makes them more loving in general -- and happier!
Scientists have known
for decades that animals with less oxytocin exhibit slower pup retrieval and less
licking and grooming of their babes, but not much research has been
done on human mothering and oxytocin until now.
The latest
results are fascinating. Researchers have found that women’s oxytocin
levels during their first trimester of pregnancy predict their bonding
behavior with their babies during the first month after birth.
Additionally, mothers who had higher levels of oxytocin across the
pregnancy as well as the postpartum month also reported more behaviors
that create a close relationship, such as singing a special song to
their baby, bathing and feeding them in a special way, or thinking
about them more. Quite simply, the more oxytocin you have, the more
loving and attentive you are to your baby.
What's more, oxytocin reverses the effect of the fight or flight hormones once danger is past, and helps us restore our sense of calm and well-being. It lowers blood pressure and promotes friendliness, or the desire to connect with others. In general, oxytocin makes you happier.
Here's the obvious
question. If you don't have high oxytocin levels in your first
trimester, are you just fated to be a lousy parent, and your kids are
out of luck? Or are there ways for us to increase our oxytocin levels?
Let's start with the bad news. We can't just take oxytocin pills to
increase blood levels because oxytocin doesn’t cross the body’s
“blood/brain barrier,” except in the form of nasal sprays, and long-term
use of oxytocin spray can damage your brain. So there's no magic pill.
We have to do the work to increase our oxytocin.
But the good news is that our brain's
production of oxytocin is actually easily impacted. And it isn't just limited to moms. Men have oxytocin
too, and in almost the same amounts as women, although few studies have been conducted on men's oxytocin pathways.
The happy fact is that we can all raise
our oxytocin levels, every day! The methods are simple, and enjoyable. Some activities that will help you
produce more oxytocin: Touching another person, loving your baby, loving a pet, connecting deeply with another human
being, yoga, exercise, giving or receiving a massage, meditation, worshiping, participating
in a group that you enjoy, engaging in loving sex, singing, dancing,
gardening, volunteering, snuggling your child….
You could probably
add to this list with your own favorite, replenishing activities.
Highest on the list would be loving connections with intimate others,
from partners to children to friends. Quite simply, we produce
oxytocin when we feel love. IN fact, some researchers call it the love hormone.
And for pregnant women who wonder about
their oxytocin levels: the single best way to increase your oxytocin is
to breastfeed your baby. Not only do your blood levels increase, but
your body makes more receptors, permanently increasing your feelings of
love -- and your ability to feel loved.
Because the even
better news is that the more oxytocin we produce, the more oxytocin
receptors our nervous system produces! That means that the more oxytocin we produce, the more receptors we produce, and the more love we feel. It's an upward spiral. As the Beatles said, the love
you take is equal to the love you make.
The studies referred to are by:
Psychology professor Ruth Feldman, published in the
November 2007 issue of Psychological Science, and
Kerstin Uväs-Moberg, M.D., Ph. D, author of The Oxytocin Factor
